I remember the first time I was heartsick. My first Love & I had broken up…(well he broke up with me). We were in a long distance relationship in college. He was my BEST friend. And at the time of break up it hurt extra bad.
when u break up with someone, u need ur bestie the most, and unfortunately for me, he was the first real boyfriend, first love, ex & bestie all @ the same time.
I cried all the time,
Cried myself to sleep, cried when I woke up,
It hurt to wake up,
My heart felt like pins were sticking in it,
And it was heavy, physically, I remember feeling it sinking.
I was in a daze all the time, even sunshine hurt.
I questioned living- cuz life was so horrible without him.
I loved that man, and I didn’t want to go about life without him.
I didn’t want to let go of him. I refused to. And that made the hurt worse.
It took me quite a few years to get over it…and it didn’t help that when we graduated from college, we hung out all the time-but that’s another story I’m sure u can guess how that went.
I’ve been through Several heartsicknesses. I believe more than my share. Now I refuse to ever go down that road again.
But the best part of it is….after my first Love and I got mature about the situation- SPACE, NO sex, distancing from families, etc. We Grew.
And we are great friends now.
So far He is the only person I’ve been through several (understatement) relationship dynamics with, over the course of 15yrs. He knows me better than anyone. It’s amazing to me that when we first met in high school, he got on my damn nerves. Lol.
and I marvel sometimes at how Much I’ve grown as a woman after we separated.
I don’t think that growth would’ve happened if we had stayed together…in fact I Know it….
Our situation just shows me that no matter how bad you think things are, you Will get over it.
So, Im always thankFULL for who and what comes my way-
whatever the situation is- good, bad, in between…..Growth is INEVITABLE. how difficult or easy you make it is up to you :-)